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Some golden rules to harmonious F2C religion community:

You can only wear a white hat or black hat. No grey hats are allowed.

Please refrain from telling a rabbi joke, unless you've included the pope, nun, Islamic fundamentalist, Hindu guru, Buddhist monk and the village idiot in it.

If you steal a shirt from someone, you are prohibited from selling it to F2C member.

You are prohibited from paying tax to your governments; just send your money over to me.

Only the Ku-Klux-Klan can join the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. (wear white only and BYO cross for burning)

If you wish to become a politician, make a speech that sounds like a sermon. If you wish to become a priest make it sounds like a political speech. (*sticking fingers in my ears* I'm not listening. )

No beating someone over the head with the Bible, Quran or any other sacred scriptures (but you are free to hit your own head with it).

Do not eat chilli or Old English mustard when near holy books. They are highly inflammable.

We don't want to hear your confession unless it is racy or raunchy.

Do not worship too closely to a nude goddess; you might lose you eyesight due to eyestrain. (Drat! )

If you have an accident or that you've sinned, blame it on God. Example of this. If you wet your pants or your bed, then say: "God made me do it".


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Feel free to add your own set of rules.


Edit note: just shortened the dashed line that was screwing up my display ...

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Did you make all those up, storyteller?

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hahaha,
those are great storyteller.
funny enough to add to the humour threads as well..heh

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Aussie Religious Rules. .... apologies to Monty Python's Australian sketch.

What's rule number one Bruce?
Rule number one? ---err.....no poofters!

What's rule number two Bruce?
Rule number two? ---There IS NO rule number two.

What's rule number three then?
Rule number three? Whenever in doubt, refer immediately to rule number one.

Aussie Aussie Aussie. Oi Oi Oi . (Ancient Australian Alcoholic Mantra.) *wink* _B_
No Cultural Cringe allowed.

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Reminds me of the motto written on one of Terminal's T-shirts:

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 Arizona writes...

Actually, we all did. ::joker::

The Holy Fool didn't have anything to write yesterday and was bored. So out come a list of Storyteller's deranged religious/agnostic maxims.

I couldn't decide whether to put this in the Humour forum or here, but Mr Grumpy () decided here. After all Mr Grumpy is the bossy persona of storyteller. ::joker::

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Well, I think that Mr Grumpy decided well and the Holy Fool created well.
(with the help of everyone else, of course)

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Homer Simpson is God.

Homer is the god of laziness, crudeness, accident, mayhem, self-destruction, stupidity, madness and political incorrectness.

He is a patron of pub. He is also patron of drunks and barkeepers (and not to mention bar-maids).

What bar-maids? Where?

Please place your donation here.

Doh! And don't forget the donuts and six-pack!

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 storyteller writes...

Ah Geez storyteller, ---I thought that one was called "Barney"
Got my Theology wrong again.
Damned Korean cartoonists. --I reckon that's the real reason that Korea's next after Syria on Georgie's Big Hit List. It's not the nukes, it's Theocratic Expansion._B_

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"Barney"?

Nah.

Maybe we should just let Bush blow up this entire planet with his WMDs. That will be the only way he could remove all threats. Real threat or not.

I don't even like the Simpsons. It is my youngest niece's favourite cartoon. I don't know what possessed my sister and brother-in-law to let their kids watch outrageous cartoon. It is very bad influences on the young and impressible kids. I mean they don't allow them to watch "Malcom in the Middle", but yet they let them watch the Simpsons. Both shows are bad for kids.

Although, I don't like it, I admit it is funny. And also I have to sometimes sit through the episodes (they taped the damned thing!), if there are no other in the family to babysit them. So some of it had seep into my system. DOH!

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Well, I remember one of Arizona's posts on another thread where it said Terminal watched the Simpsons for years and it didn't seem to have hurt him none.
err "Yup" says Cletus the slack jawed yokel. "Ah'll jest hafter git me one of them new-fangeled see-thru compooter boxeses, fer ta keep mah spiderses in." _B_

err, -just jokin' Terminal. *wink*

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Some people, like Terminal, may have immunity to the Simpsons. I'm afraid that I have low tolerance to the Simpson lunacy. In fact, I am quite sure that I have been infected. Doh!

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I've just realise that I have become Omniscient.

But how come I didn't see that coming???

Well, that's a poor start of my new job becoming a god.

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Now, what should I create..... *musing*

How about if I reverse evolution, then we all become monkey again?

Or a hybrid of woman's head and chest and lion's body? No, *shake head* that's has been done before.

How about hybrid of man and horse? No, *shake head* that has been done too. Or perhap I would create on with a horse's head and man's body?

Or a man with two faces? No, *shake head* that's been done too in the Harry Potter's movie.

No, no, let me think. *shake head* I know that I will be able to create something that no one has thought of before.....

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*news flash*
Just became aware of a new rule for inter-religious intercourse. (the "hard way" as usual)
viz: -All participants are required to ensure that no more than one foot is placed in the mouth, at any given time. _B_

p.s. -hey storyteller, with yer new omniscience,
-no peekin' into the Girl's showers.
Not even iffyer do it "with ease".
If there's one thing I can't stand, .... it's a Pekinese. -Cantonese or nuffin I reckon. Congrats. _B_

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 Sue_Mie writes...

Damned! I didn't even think of that.

Do I get x-ray vision or glass that comes along with omnisicience?

Are you sure I can't have a little peek?

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_B_